Dear Mistress Maeve,

I recently had a horribly embarrassing experience with anal sex. I'll spare you the gory details — let's just say, if cleanliness is next to godliness, I was dancing with the devil.
I know anal sex can get messy, but you must have some tips for avoiding unwelcome messes?

Signed,
Mrs. Clean

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Dear Mrs. Clean,

If you're going to do anal, you have to be prepared to get your hands dirty — but perhaps not literally.... Read more

Dear Mistress Maeve,... Read more

Dear Mistress Maeve,... Read more

Dear Mistress Maeve,

Recently I have noticed a startling trend in my hook-ups — blow jobs seem to have gone out of style.

I am more than willing to give — even if I don't receive — but guys are turning down my offers. I don't have a snaggle-tooth, and my oral skills have gotten rave reviews in the past. I am completely baffled by this turn of events. Is there some "giving head is uncool" sex memo that I missed? If so, I would like to object. I don't have a penis, so I enjoy becoming orally acquainted with them.... Read more

Dear Mistress Maeve,

So there I was, having sex with my man lover, when I realize that his penis is definitely not hard. So I look at him, puzzled, but instead of stopping, he continues thrusting and lets out a seemingly insincere climactic moan. Because he threw the condom away immediately, I saw no evidence of sperm. Is it possible for a man to orgasm without a hard penis? If not, what on earth does this mean?

Signed,
Soft Served

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Dear Soft Served,... Read more

Dear Mistress Maeve,

I'm hoping that by writing to you and getting your opinion, I can convince my girlfriend to have sex with me while she's having her period. I'm not some fetishist who gets off on menstrual blood. I'm just a guy who likes to have sex all the time, and a little blood once a month doesn't bother me. I've read where you say it's not a big deal to have sex while you're on the rag, and I'm hoping that if she reads your response, she might rethink her ban on period sex.

Help a brother out?

Max E. Pad... Read more

Dear Mistress Maeve,... Read more

Dear Mistress Maeve,

When I was a younger woman, I noticed that when I was on top of my male partner, I was quite wet. It didn't happen often, and I didn't give it much thought. Ten years later it happened again, and then again and again — and now, before my very eyes, I have become a full-blown squirter. And we're not talking a trickle, either, but gushing, porn-star-style squirting. Luckily both my partner and I are excited by it and have successfully incorporated it into our love making (crib pads are a godsend).... Read more

Dear Mistress Maeve,

I have a friend who I've known for almost five years. I love him to death, and he loves me, too, but he has a girlfriend. Before the girlfriend came along, we had a "friends with benefits" thing going on. We almost dated, but then the girlfriend arrived on the scene. He loves her very much, and I can see that he is happy with her — but he still continues to see me for "friendly benefits."

I feel torn. Should I keep this up? What is the nicest way to say, "Choose between me and your girlfriend"?

Signed,
The Other Girl... Read more

Dear Mistress Maeve,... Read more