Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...
I just started dating this guy, and I know he doesn’t have any plans for New Year’s Eve. He knows I always go to a house party with my best friends, and he’s been fishing for an invitation. I like him and want to continue seeing him, but I think it’s too soon to spend such a big holiday together and introduce him to all of my friends. Not to mention that last year’s party got really weird when the guy I was dating turned into a drunken animal at midnight and started running around screaming, “Happy New Year!” and exploding champagne bottles all over my friend’s furniture. I still haven’t lived that one down. Needless to say, I’m nervous to bring another new guy around this year.
How do I tell him I like him but don’t want him to come to the party?
Dear Midnight Blue,
There is nothing worse than bringing the drunken idiot to the party, so I get why you’re apprehensive about bringing another guy to your annual fete. Further, I think it’s wise not to rush into a holiday like New Year’s Eve with a new love interest. With the exception of Valentine’s Day, New Year’s is the most nauseatingly romantic holiday of the year. If your gut is telling you it’s too soon to ring in 2013 with this guy, you have to let him know you won’t be kissing him at midnight.
As usual, honesty is the best policy. Good relationships are built on setting boundaries and being honest; don’t shy away from that. Let him know that you’re into him, but explain that you’d prefer to get to know one another better before introducing him to your friends (especially on a holiday). I wouldn’t tell him about your date’s faux pas last year — your ex-boyfriend’s antics have nothing to do with your new man.
Ask him if he wants to hang out on New Year’s Day instead. If you do brunch, you can toast and share a kiss when the clock strikes twelve, noon.